Until next season

By now you are probably wondering what next, he doesn't call you anymore. You had fun; he said he had fun as well. So why the silence? Did you read it wrong? Did he lie about what an awesome time he has with you? It was the start of something special, you sat together chatting about all the things you like to do, the places you like to do and the people you hang with. But wait a minute, were you keen. Did he open up to you? Just how much of him do you actually know? You basically do all the talking and when you aren't talking there’s an awkward deafening silence. You always seem to be locked indoors, that’s the only time he seems to enjoy. That’s him, the seriously honest him. Away from the noise, the clatter of human kind’s vocals; tranquility is golden. Trust me, you are lucky to be included; he definitely thinks you have earned it. At this point it’s for you to trash. You have him to yourself; you have him in his most natural environment. This is the real him; no pretense whatsoever.

But you are not content. You think you want him, but not what he is about. Contentment is a distant abyss. You long for the alternation of a tranquil soul. How then do you expect satisfaction? He is happy as is but you are not. At this point, the only way you will have happiness is if he is sad. Your happiness depends on him being a different person; more like what you cherish. Why then did you start what you can’t seem to control. Were in your right senses. He has always been like this from the very beginning. What caught your eye initially seems to have withered away. His looks, sense of style, worldly possession and common interests, among other things that sweep you off your feet and into a fantasy that only you controls are now all gone with the wind. Reality checks in without warning and your make-believe shredded to smithereens. Oh, how quickly our interests change when as we inevitably bud.

Suddenly you don’t think that was it, it’s not what the script says; it looks nothing remotely like it. You no longer want him around, he’s no fun. There is grass on the other side. It seems better than greener; it actually breathes an aura of edibility. That is where you long to vacate to, where there’s excitement; never a dull moment in fantasy land. Conversations with him become agonizing; he tries his best to see the good in the situation but you are so bored. It shows from all the rain checks to the shallow conversations marred by crystal clear indifference.

It’s time to cut his losses. You no longer hold a place in his seclusion. He is used to being alone; it’s just another season in his life cycle. Unfortunately for you. When he does cut his losses, he does it for real. He does fully. He loathes ambiguity at this point. His reclusive state is a way of life, enjoyable even. That’s where he will be, at least until his next season. This one’s over.