The Unapproachable Soul

The unapproachable soul, strong physique tough outer shell, keeping all at bay. Faceless with no facial expressions and a less than obvious body language; is he mad, sad or is he just numb? Deep inside, he has no spine, weakened by a definitive lack of peace and tranquility. It’s a war zone in there with no cease fire in sight

How to put words in perspective? A young boy growing up as the baby of the lot. Growing up was not an option, coming hurriedly than normal; no space to enjoy infancy; a skipped stage in the human life cycle. In class, the last born tag maintained, sitting in with much older mates. No time to walk, run or get left behind. A bombardment of emotions, experiences, cultures and perceptions from the older folk with a lesser capacity to process. How then does he fair in this tumultuous space? He walks in silence, retreating and obscuring his own feelings and emotions with a rigid demeanor of composure and balance. Nothing comes in and just the same, nothing comes out. A human volcano…will he erupt?

In due course becoming Mr. Chief Advisor by virtue of experience having journeyed many a path at the expense of his own. The unapproachable tag soon fades once an inviting smile brightens up the inexpressive face, followed in smooth transition by a listening ear and a genuine interest. The clock ticks away and they feel comfortable and safe; they trust him enough to tell him their stories; they give him their lives! His rigid barricade begins to falter, their emotions, dreams, fears; their lives begin to sip through adding to the already disquieting atmosphere within. A release would be ideal but none is forthcoming. Late nights and throughout the sun’s gaze, the unending banter presents more battles for him to fight.

What next? The surrounding influences become him, his sense of right and wrong become his confidants’; he becomes them. But no one lives in another; multiple personalities operationalized from a single source…laughable at the least but it happens more than the ordinary self-righteous judgmental would like to admit. The result? A chameleon soul adapting to what the situation presents having fed on all manner of stimuli from all manner of sources ever on the prowl like a predator lying in wait ready to pounce with lethal precision albeit when the focus is maintained. Mistake are abound in all situations.

The end…his end is imminent but how will it end? Will he end? Disappear in the miasma of indecisiveness crowded out by everyone else’s baggage? Will he sprout and wield the iron fist and continue his plunder of fellow souls? Or will his enough be enough to release the unrelenting pressure on his own soul that ushers in peace surpassing all that is deemed serene?

The greatest responsibility you have towards yourself is to be yourself.