Tribute to the Master Tutor

He was an exceptional man, a man of great wisdom and a clear vision. He touched the lives of many the world over. His work for many international organizations formed the basis for heavily funded government programs. He set up full-fledged communication departments for health ministries across Africa, led major communication campaigns in the region, trained and mentored many communication practitioners working in health, veterinary and agriculture services across Africa. He developed communication strategies, training materials and created many innovative behaviour change communication and training materials that have been used widely in Africa, including Messages and Strategies for Promoting Child Survival, Growth and Development, Communication Handbook for Polio Eradication and Routine EPI, Community Training Manual for Eastern and Southern Africa, All-in-One Child Health Books for Zambia and South Africa and Outbreak Communicators’ Toolkit.

My father was a firm believer in develop learning skills (curiosity, observation, studying, asking, listening, analyzing & critical thinking, creative thinking, selecting information and applying these skills to achieve results, aspects of life that I have learnt to embrace.  I will not shy away from these even where everyone around me doesn’t support this approach. That is the way I have been socialized. It is these questions that we the young folk must ask you our elders not to polarize and build walls but to build the future. Generations will come and go. Your opinion will not stand forever; change is inevitable. I firmly believe that he would be ashamed of me if I told him I am doing something for no other reason than because he did it or so and so said so.

As I was looking through my father’s notes I see something that brings back a very familiar experience through all these preparations. The heading is My Diseases & Peculiarities and goes to highlight how and I quote, “doctors & adults did not listen to me well enough; Did not understand me. Did not help me to the extent I expected. I met many people who had despaired because of this. Strong feeling that I belong to myself and must learn to live with it. In all honesty these are the words of a man far beyond this community’s years. A man who selflessly gave regardless of whether he personally got anything in return. I recall his stories of how he would play ‘sigongi’ which he turned out to be good at. Most of his winnings he gave to his sisters, especially. A man who expected nothing less than adequate information, for people to listen to understand and assist in charting the way forward rather than listening to respond in a generic manner. Interrogating issues, dissecting beliefs to get to the root of the matter at hand will be the hallmark of his journey here on earth. He was very dissatisfied and frustrated when he couldn’t get enough answers. A logical and systematic thought process that invited discussion rather than alienated others’ sentiments positioned him as one of if not the greatest mobilizers this community has and possibly will ever see. If you do not examine all possibilities and scenarios, then you will fail. You may take a wrong decision but worse would be to do nothing at all.  The age old saying “that is how we have always done it” depicts a lazy approach to decision making, practices stand for decades on end rubbishing the fact that times change, people change, the situations we are presented with change but we still remain comfortable in the status quo; very dangerous approach to life for any young, logical thinking individual. As far as community is concerned, we come together. But as an individual, it is in your best interest not to lose your identity in the crowd. All in all, be sure to make yourself a priority because after all is said and done, you are your longest commitment.

We owe it not only to my father but to humanity to be a progressive people. Picking what makes sense and discarding what has been overtaken by time & events. We owe it to him to have binding threads, a clear vision, progressive attitudes that create a platform for inclusion and involvement, recognize our responsibility to achieve results, our unwavering commitment to each cause at hand, raise the bar on our performance standards, deliver honest reports and appropriately utilize the information we have at our disposal.

Having learnt from a master tutor, I believe very strongly that as a global citizen, it is imperative that you hold steadfast in what you believe in and always make your intentions and thoughts known regardless of whether they are popular or not. Your best defence on judgement day won’t be they told me to and so I did.

I personally wouldn’t be standing here if my father accepted wholesale the unanimous decision that he was making a mistake in marrying my mother. This lesson guides my actions to this day that the world can have their opinion. But mine is also valid none the less. You all know how that story went.

He was always angered by people who purported to know everything saying, ‘you people have endless degrees but you have learnt nothing. You go to school so that you can know, we went to school so we can learn how to learn. Learn how to learn so that you can navigate every single adversity, question and challenge. If you are still stuck, consult the bible. It has all the answers; past, present and future.

Every time he encountered a challenge he, ‘engaged a different gear’. He did not have a blanket one size fits all approach to people and situations like many people do. He dealt with people at their own level & in the way they presented themselves and situations as they are and not as he wished they would be.

Believe it or not, there are those who felt that my father did not live up to his full potential. The skewed basis on which we view success such as how many earthly belongings we accumulate...cars, houses, how many dignitaries know you by name and grace all your functions, how often you appear in the news at the expense of content of our character and positive social impact should baffle any right thinking individual. His brother in law once brought him application forms to enrol at the University of California, Berkeley’s medical school. He did not fill them and kept them hidden away to this day. His reason was simple…he hated the sight of blood. How then would he be able to treat anyone? Our perceptions of what goes on in other peoples’ lives are informed by our own world views. If you aren’t speaking from a position of factual knowledge, then you better not speak at all.

In his younger years he was fascinated by mechanics because when he once went to see them as they worked and they bought him gifts which convinced him at the time that that’s what he wanted to become when he finished his education. He would probably be the best mechanic that ever lived, but who am I to brag. This dream quickly faded as he got to upper primary. By the time he was in high school he was doing better in languages and began to write for Nation’s Flamingo magazine and there his passion remained. For me, the lessons from this one paragraph are many. Decision making without proper interrogation of the situation at hand doesn’t necessarily lead to an informed and practical decision. Time shapes everything. It allows things to fall in place as they should. And once you find your passion, pour your soul into it…the fruits shall surely come.

Thank you very much for these many lessons. Lessons I will forever carry with me until I breathe my last, lessons I too will pass on to my children but not shy away from adding or subtracting as the demands of the present & future dictate.

To the county leadership, if you are honest with yourselves you know full well what you must do. Lest you forget, it is your God given duty to do right by this community. Involve the community in driving agendas that benefit them. Let the target beneficiaries have a voice in how the intended help is packaged to achieve its intended purpose. Invest wholeheartedly in growing this community through promoting cognitive learning skills (literacy & numeracy), nurturing good character, values & standards, creating an enabling environment for entrepreneurship & innovation, offering transparent leadership, fostering people & community skills and encouraging fair & healthy competition in all facets of community life.  Only then can this community, ward, constituency and county at large be freed from the yoke of poverty and stagnated development.

Before the numbness decimates

All alone in his confines he struggles tossing and turning aimlessly. Nothing seems to be going right. All the spent his time chasing, all he thought he needed, all he endlessly craved for, all he thought he needed to be happy he doesn't have. But he is still alive, breathing the same walking, talking. Nothing's changed. All the things he thought he would be missing out on now seem juvenile. Is this what they call growing up?

Has age finally caught up? He is numb, no feelings even disturbingly towards himself. No room for you, you or even you. A hardened soul a result of journey covered so far. On that has brought with it many battles, many lessons and revealed countless realities. It has by no means been easy, many a comrade have fallen by the way side unable to discern reality and fiction; unable to place themselves in the present and how it relates to them. They feel lost, misplaced and crave to be elsewhere, where the reality they perceive to be less cloudy; less ambiguous. They forget mankind is himself ambiguous, an enigma to himself. To appreciate these simple facts is the beginning of life. Not everything was meant to be understood, not every task was meant to be completed, and not every soul was meant to be at peace for only death brings peace. From the womb to the ground is a constant battle only survived by the unrelenting.

To toil is to be human. The ironies of life; ask towards more questions; keep looking for more answers the more answers you get; to keep working towards rest. These are the days, filled with disillusionment, only the hands of time hold the answers to the hard questions the solid truths and the inevitable actions. He hold out clinging to hopes of seeing a brighter tomorrow. That time will find him ready; that time will find him waiting is all that he prays for. Before the numbness decimates him irreparably.

If you don't see them on the other side

The Nights turn to days an the days turn to nights. Its not as easy as it was meant to be. Thoughts ravage the deeper echelons, disturbing all peace and serenity. Its not fair keeping the soul in limbo waiting for the final verdict; an uncertain truth whose arrival is even more ambiguous. The situation sanctions it, there's no other way. No better way. It has to be done this way. It has to be done now. The torturous quest to discover the truth, the light and the path to fulfill the purpose.

The past, a mirror to the present cannot be ignored in this endevour. Providing objectivity to clear the blinding mist that impairs sound judgement pertaining the present. But there are proponents for and against. Caught between a rock and a rock only their shape can tell them apart.

A final result, a final decision lies even further away than at the beginning of the quest. With palms enjoined, the giver of all knowledge and wisdom is consulted. There must be an answer; the chapter must come to a close. Patience is golden; deep understanding is platinum. Only time will tell where the verdict lies. The tunnel is darker than darkness, the light nowhere in sight.

They can only hope you will understand if you don't see them on the other side.

Until next season

By now you are probably wondering what next, he doesn't call you anymore. You had fun; he said he had fun as well. So why the silence? Did you read it wrong? Did he lie about what an awesome time he has with you? It was the start of something special, you sat together chatting about all the things you like to do, the places you like to do and the people you hang with. But wait a minute, were you keen. Did he open up to you? Just how much of him do you actually know? You basically do all the talking and when you aren't talking there’s an awkward deafening silence. You always seem to be locked indoors, that’s the only time he seems to enjoy. That’s him, the seriously honest him. Away from the noise, the clatter of human kind’s vocals; tranquility is golden. Trust me, you are lucky to be included; he definitely thinks you have earned it. At this point it’s for you to trash. You have him to yourself; you have him in his most natural environment. This is the real him; no pretense whatsoever.

But you are not content. You think you want him, but not what he is about. Contentment is a distant abyss. You long for the alternation of a tranquil soul. How then do you expect satisfaction? He is happy as is but you are not. At this point, the only way you will have happiness is if he is sad. Your happiness depends on him being a different person; more like what you cherish. Why then did you start what you can’t seem to control. Were in your right senses. He has always been like this from the very beginning. What caught your eye initially seems to have withered away. His looks, sense of style, worldly possession and common interests, among other things that sweep you off your feet and into a fantasy that only you controls are now all gone with the wind. Reality checks in without warning and your make-believe shredded to smithereens. Oh, how quickly our interests change when as we inevitably bud.

Suddenly you don’t think that was it, it’s not what the script says; it looks nothing remotely like it. You no longer want him around, he’s no fun. There is grass on the other side. It seems better than greener; it actually breathes an aura of edibility. That is where you long to vacate to, where there’s excitement; never a dull moment in fantasy land. Conversations with him become agonizing; he tries his best to see the good in the situation but you are so bored. It shows from all the rain checks to the shallow conversations marred by crystal clear indifference.

It’s time to cut his losses. You no longer hold a place in his seclusion. He is used to being alone; it’s just another season in his life cycle. Unfortunately for you. When he does cut his losses, he does it for real. He does fully. He loathes ambiguity at this point. His reclusive state is a way of life, enjoyable even. That’s where he will be, at least until his next season. This one’s over.

Your mantle awaits

Dawn comes and there’s an airiness in the mind body and soul. Rifling the deepest stratum of the mind in search of a reason to leave the comfort of your unimaginably comfy cotton eiderdowns. It has come to that; we have a problem. The only reason you can come up with is “I need the money”. Alas!

That time has come, out the window lies all that makes your heart sing; all that is just, all that arouses infinite passion from the bowels of your very being. The chance is there for you to take, but you won’t. It’s safer, less boisterous to sit back and be who they want you to be. But that is not who you are; that is not who he introduced you to be. You try, toil, and bear the brunt off all that comes with this apathy and more. I wish I could, I wish I were, if only there was. Quit whining, nobody owes you a thing, the world doesn't really care. Off your behind then, take a glance at yesterday, work on your today and silhouette tomorrow. You are your own cheerleader. The folly of belittling oneself; ensuring stagnation of even the strongest of beings. They will only back you in the direction you choose to go; they will only back you when the results begin to show. Everyone wants to be associated with success never mind that they don’t contribute one ounce. It’s all up to you, to determine the tempo and the result. Pick up the mantle and wade the wilderness of the unfamiliar. Take courage in the fulfillment of the purpose for which you exist. For in the midst of adversity, arise the most seasoned, rounded and grounded souls giving hope and security to those that need it the most.

Be of courage today and step out from the shadows of mediocre existence and walk the tight rope to the promised land. Receive it; guard it jealously for it is a blessing to not only you but to the world. Intricately connected, we all have a part to play in maintaining balance, harmony and progress.

Your mantle awaits; commit to it today.

The spell to fly

Pick a side! A genuine side, one that elicits a deep satisfaction and inner peace. A serine place where the only way is up. Does it exist?

Week long, preparing for the weekend, preparing for the fat lady to sing. The sound of her voice all too familiar, singing in your favour is your ultimate desire. With gear in place, the task is at hand, no turning back now. It’s here; it’s now! Cheers both pro n anti fill the air she starts to sing the target in mind but have we all turned the page? The page with the script, the script resulting from a firm conviction; a belief that is the embodiment of sacrifice.

Left to right the script shapes the chase; the chase for the gadget the one thing they channel their energies toward and without which there is emptiness. Nothing is a definite science. The situation and the mind will at their convergence dictate the result. There’s no drilling decision making. The fundamentals and the years with a sprinkle of mental serenity and seasoned ingenuity determine all outcomes. Go on and yell, go on and curse, pile a little more pressure to the volatile mix. Remember the fat lady? She is on the prowl; go on and help her slaughter the soldier and devour the army.

The true test is in the mentor remaining cool, calm and collected. The prodigy has been schooled and knows a thong from a boxer but even more, a knife from a blade. Calm your intestines lest they burst through the nearest exit. There will be sunshine, there will be rain but all culminate into lessons, improving on the years, upgrading the flesh to gladiator status. This is Sparta! The king is in the midst of his army, never on a pedestal. Into the fray, deeply saturated with fellow emotions; the journey is ours, each and every one of us! The weakest link not the individual but the army’s thoughts. Are they weak in the mind? Are they already defeated long before the royal rumble?

The king, the ultimate inspiration when all else seems vanity. To tenaciously stand tall, courageous and relentlessly optimistic that in fact his army has it; the drive, oomph, experience, focus towards the ultimate kick that sends jubilation across the arena and a shine on the mantel piece. The fat lady has sung her last on the day.

Put your hands up in the sky; this is the spell to fly!

The adventures continue

A nice cozy evening and the usual suspects are having a hangout at ground zero. How time has passed yet nothing much seems to have changed. Reminiscing on yester years the laughter, the revelations and outright face palm moments take center stage.

Flash back 4 years ago, when life was as simple as farting after a meal; in the absence of your crush of course.  3 days of sanity, engaged albeit a few hours when the unforgiving sun scotches the land. The minds hotwired; skimming off mediocrity and imparting maturity and with it some semblance of sanity. Be strong, the 4 day weekend is fast approaching, the great trek down to where the mouth waters at the thought of the pilgrimage. The shallow assortment notwithstanding, the register will record their presence. For hours on end, in total disregard for the dark trek back they make merry way past curfew. But they are hungry, they won’t sleep hungry. Where will they quench their hunger?  

The lights go out albeit momentarily to the slurred jeers from the usual suspects. Oblivious of the warning from the register holder, they come back on to a hearty jubilation. Moments later, the music stops, scampering at the entrance, facing the back, totally aloof of the new developments. He glances over his shoulder to a 6 ft and heavy. Glass in one hand and the 750 kill me quick in the other, there will be no waste! Bursting through the back door, left is not an option. To the right, the vegetation tasked with keeping intruders at bay seems the best alternative; it’s either that or the slammer. The jump from the inebriated is more like the charity sweep stake. The leading foot does not think his counterpart should follow, stuck in the heap becoming one with the flora. Just then the slammer express pulls up casting an unfriendly beam. Wading like a reptile, concealing everything possible lying stiller than photo. They walk right over, two of them, the law and the unfortunate purp. Minutes pass and there engine begins to roar, the beam gets ever dimmer and when calmness begins to set in, laughter erupts. oh the irony, he thought he was alone; where did everybody go? Nowhere apparently, just out of sight joining the flora or cozying up the sand. goodness me, damn there were times!

Kill me quick in hand; their rubber appendages begin an exodus. Just another day in the life of the members; register marked another tantalizing story for the archives, never mind the garments will never be worn again. They are young; the future will take care of itself. The party don’t stop, doing a pap of honour around the usual hotspots. Kill me quick has to do just that even if it means death at dawn. The grinding the bending the twer…oh sorry that wasn't invented yet; well into the morning.

Fast forward back to the present; the adventures continue.